The Evening Cafe with Coach Robert: WHAT DO YOU VALUE?

Change is a word that we hear a lot about today. Companies want change, Employees wants change and even our Country is looking for change. The question I often ponder is, do we know what we want or do we just know that we don’t like what we’ve got?

The truth of the matter is that if we don’t take the time to determine our values, what’s important to us, then we will follow most anyone or any idea that comes along hoping it will bring what we are looking for, even though we are clueless what that something might be. That can be a very bad thing when looking for change because we could end up somewhere we regret in a big way!

Determining what we want from what we need can sometimes be difficult because we make so many of our decisions based on emotions. We eat, not because we’re hungry, but because something taste good. Our children have toys that are rarely played with because we couldn’t stand the thought of our child not having something that someone else had. Some throw their marriage away because of emotional situations; again, they don’t know what they are looking for in a relationship, emotionally it doesn’t feel good, so they discard the whole deal. What we value seems to be missing in many aspects of our lives.

Why do we do this? The answer is simple, “It’s easy.”

It is easier to blame other people for things going bad. We blame the spouse, the job or the government for our lives not being what it should be because it is much easier than taking personal responsibility.  Pointing the finger and calling someone else an idiot may take the attention off us; however it does not take away the responsibility. If we don’t know what we value…then we will value nothing…again, it’s easier.

Determining what we value and holding true to these convictions is not always the most fun thing to do because there are a few other things attached to the process that we don’t like to think about. When you and I begin to take ownership it means we are going to have to SACRIFICE, set BOUNDARIES, and it drives us to the realization that we can’t go it alone and need ACCOUNTABILITY.  

Much of the reason we have such a negative outlook on these three words is because of the misperception of what they bring to our lives. See the words, Sacrifice, Boundaries and Accountability most automatically bow up in belief someone is taking something from them and wants to control their life.

Allow me to paint a different picture about these words that might just set you free. Take to heart the fact that these three little words could be the keys that provide the breakthrough you have been looking for and you could be changed forever.  


 “Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.”

Sacrificing in its purest form is simply when we give up something of value for something of greater value. That greater value is not always tangible. Think about someone who gives up their life for someone. He or she gave up something extremely valued; however the life of others was more valuable to him or her.  It didn’t have a dollar figure attached; it was something they considered priceless.

Think for a moment about a goal you would like to reach. How much value have you placed on that goal? To reach where you want to be will require sacrifice. You may have to sacrifice money, time, energy or perhaps even positional authority. When we realize that this sacrifice is NOT giving up, but it is GAINING MORE, then it changes the dynamics of the whole concept.

Take a moment to list out what you are currently valuing that is getting in the way of something more valuable. Can you part with this? Why or why not?


“Something that indicates the farthest limit…border”

How far are you willing to go to jeopardize whatever it is you value? Without boundaries you and I can safely say that we don’t value whatever it is we have or what we want.

Think about those who have lost their career by making ethically wrong decisions. Be it the CEO who was caught embezzling money, the kid working at the grocery store who was fired because he stole a candy bar or the husband who cheated on his wife; the bottom line for all of these is they didn’t value what they had.

To keep from going where you and I never thought we could go we must have boundaries set. If you value your career then you must set a list of things you will not compromise. The same goes for your marriage, friendships and anything else that is important.

You won’t be successful if you try to set boundaries on the fly, when you’re in the fog of making a right or wrong decision. Boundaries must be set before you go out into the world because the world will test them. People and even our own desires (emotions) have a tenancy to see just how far we will go.

How much do you really want that business? Marriage? Career? Healthy Lifestyle?

Set the boundaries and stick to them. It makes life so much easier to navigate when the unexpected storms of compromise come our way.


“Liable to being called to account; answerable”

If you are going to rappel down a rocky mountain would you pack a ball of yarn to tackle the treacherous rocks or would you rather have a thousand feet of the finest rappelling rope?

The answer seems obvious; however many of us go about rappelling life’s mountains with a ball of yarn. Single pieces of yarn alone are weak and not made to hold weight. What make rope so strong are the many cords woven together to make something unbreakable and dependable. It is something so strong men and woman place their lives in its trust.

People with whom we can be held accountable to are like rappelling rope. When we open up and ask others to help we are going to rappel the rocky ridges of life with assurance and safety. The more people we can join forces with, the more successful we will be. We all need that accountability to be successful.

You and I have to be sure to select the right people to be part of our cord. Someone who can be trusted to take our confidential openness to the grave with them; they can’t be a blabber. These people must also be people who you consider wise and can give sound advice when times get tough.

Who will you choose to trust with the weight of your goals and ideals?


Now is where the rubber meets the road. Are you looking for change in your life? How important are your goals and ambitions? If you value what you have or what you are after, then take some time to evaluate these three action words that will be the foundation on which you will build. Sacrifice, Boundaries and Accountability; they aren’t negatives that take-away; they are positives that enable success. 

Have a great day making the changes you desire to BRING OUT YOUR BEST!


Robert Simmons is a Professional Life Strategies Coach who resides in the DFW area. Robert specializes with adults who struggle with ADD helping them find processes and the tools needed to navigate life.

Robert has also expanded his services to Professional Organizational Coaching. As a certified Six Sigma Black Belt Robert has taken the tools used in business and has found applicable processes to help clients get organized and stay organized.

To set up Free Phone Consult with Robert call Life Solutions 817.421.8780 today! Office, phone and Skype appointments are available.

Life Solutions is located at 2625 E. Southlake Blvd., Suite 160, Southlake, Tx 76092.

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