In sports one of the tactics of winning that many people rarely think about is “talking smack.” Talking smack is a player’s effort to say something that gets into the opponents head. It may be something that causes doubt in their ability to win, it can be words that creates anger or smack can be a means to distract from a full focus on the game.

The goal of smack talking is to have a negative effect on another person in order to win.

Smack talking isn’t just for the sports world, it can occur in the business place as well. Ever had someone say something about you that took the wind out of your sail? Perhaps you have received an email from a boss stating his or her doubt in your ability. After doing your best at a task the one thing that didn’t go well is pointed out. Looks of disgust when you speak are also a means in which to get in your head. Rolling of the eyes, scrunched lips or fidgeting during your part of a presentation are all a person’s attempt to get in your head and mess up your game.

So what do you do when someone is Smack Talking? What if that someone is a boss or holds a higher up position? Use the acronym “S-T-O-P.”

Silence

Those who talk smack want the other person to react. Just like in sports, once the words are seeded in the head, the body reacts accordingly. What is in our head, falls to our heart and comes out in our actions. The best thing to do is not to respond.

Think

We should always ask ourselves why a person thinks what they do whether it is true or not. Sometimes it is simply a matter of someone wanting to be a jerk, but still we should yield to consider what has been said. Ask yourself if there is something you need to improve in order to change perceptions. Is this individual the only one who perceives these things about you? Be honest with yourself about yourself.

Options

So you have conducted a self-evaluation, now what? Were the accusations true? Let’s assume not and that you simply have a smack-talker trying to take you out. There are several paths you can go down pending your work environment, personalities and the position of the person; however there is one path that no matter what you need to go. That path is to grab ahold of truth. Get the negative thoughts that were placed in your head out with counter measures. Read emails where you have been told you’re doing a good job, dig out previous awards, and get around peers who know and appreciate your worth or make note cards with positive quotes that encourage you.

Proceed

Once you have given consideration realizing that you have someone trying to get in your head, it is time to get your head back in the game. Keep doing what you do to make yourself a success. Always remember that a smack talker is trying to throw your game off. They want you to act out what they are saying so that they can prove themselves more powerful and thus the victor. Knowing that you are good at what you do and doing it is what smack talkers want to stop so don’t give them the game.

You are winner so get out there and win!

{ 0 comments }

IMG_0946Have you ever tried to rush out of the grocery store when the lines were long? I have and rarely am I successful. My strategy is often to find the shortest line or fastest clerk, jumping from lane to lane. The sad truth I always discover is that if I had simply stayed in the original line I was in I would have been long gone. But instead, because I was impatient I ended up being there longer.

 

The frustration can build when we try to beat the masses in the supermarket, but it is even more frustrating when we try to beat everyone else in our careers by looking for the shortest route there.

 

Trying to find the short line to the top comes in many shapes, forms and fashions, but it is always obvious. Job hopping, being critical or putting down others in an effort to elevate self, undermining, title chasing, sucking up, back-stabbing along with other efforts to get through the checkout faster are signs of one looking for a shortcut up.

 

Through my career I have seen those who are jockeying their way to the top yet rarely have I witnessed a successful maneuver. Most times those who try to manipulate or circumvent the process end up stuck. Much like the Tortoise and the Hare, they end up losing the race. Those who have managed to gain some ground end up losing what was gained at some point, because they missed growth opportunities cutting corners along the way.

 

CHARISMA MIGHT TAKE YOU TO A HIGHER PLACE BUT ITS CHARACTER THAT DETERMINES HOW LONG YOU STAY

 

The men and women I have respected and looked up to most professionally made it because of hard work and doing their best where they were at the time. Opportunity comes to those who are content in making a difference where life has them in the moment. There is a difference in being aware and open to opportunities than it is chasing them. Some people jump at perceived opportunities like a dog trying to catch gnats running around snipping and barking at everything flying around.

 

Work hard, grow and invest in others. That is the formula for success. If you do this it doesn’t matter who passes you for the promotion or who lands the high paying job. The reason is simple, when we focus on these three elements we are getting outside our self. On the flip side, when we are jockeying, manipulating, politicking and other wise looking for the quickest way to the top, we are inward focused. Anytime our focus becomes selfish disappointment and frustration is always there tagging along.

 

The quickest way to the top is right in front of you and I each day. Working hard to be the best we can be, growing as individuals to be better men & women and finally investing our lives into the lives of others.

 

What few understand until much later in life is that success, life at the top, isn’t position. It’s not a title nor is a salary range. Success is knowing at the end of the day you made a difference in someone else’s life. When we understand that truth we will not want to take shortcuts. No longer will we keep running to and fro chasing the shortest line because it is then that our desire will be to savor every relationship making an impact each step of the way changing lives. Success.

{ 0 comments }

THE POWER OF QUESTIONS

March 18, 2017

In a marriage class many years ago we were taught as men that when the wife comes with a problem they don’t necessarily want you to solve it. All the she is often looking for is a listening ear and an understanding heart. That truth is applicable in marriage and it also has merit in [...]

Read the full article →

IS THAT REAL PIRATE BOOTY?

March 11, 2017

I have been a Pirates of the Caribbean fan since Hollywood rolled out the first one. Captain Jack is brilliantly played by Johnny Depp in each series. One thing that I have noted is there are many leadership and life lessons intertwined throughout the movies if you pay careful attention. One quote, when Captain Jack [...]

Read the full article →

Hate My Job!

March 10, 2017

Job satisfaction is something everyone desires, yet few take time to realize that satisfaction is often a matter of self-satisfaction. Are we happy with ourselves? Am I in the right field? Am I making a difference? Do my skills match what’s expected? Does the vision of the company match the passion of my heart? What [...]

Read the full article →

ROCKY ROADS

March 8, 2017

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” Is 42:16 Careers are not always an easy path. We [...]

Read the full article →

PLAY IT SAFE OR TAKE A RISK?

February 25, 2017

When I look back at my professional career the best moves were the most risky. Each risky move came with an entourage of friends screaming, “don’t do it!” Jumping from my comfortable hometown job of working in a warehouse to a career in the Marines brought wagers from friends who bet I would wash out. [...]

Read the full article →

VICTORIES FROM A BAD HEART

January 17, 2017

Today marks two years since the day my world was rocked with a full-blown heart attack. Healthy, exercising and eating right did not matter when coming face to face with heredity. Literally seconds from death as skilled physicians worked diligently to get stints in place changed my life forever. There are several lessons I have [...]

Read the full article →

SHOUT IT! SHOUT IT OUT LOUD!

January 10, 2017

If you were a rocker in the 70’s you probably well know the band KISS. I used to rock the house with their songs when my parents were away and when cruising down the road you couldn’t hear my six cylinder car valves tapping, but you could not ignore the screaming guitars coming through the [...]

Read the full article →

Leaders Look for Greatness

December 6, 2016

“Bad leaders excuse away greatness; good leaders look for excuses to recognize greatness.”   We have all heard it. “John is a good employee, but…” or, “Yes, Susie does a good job and is productive; it is just that sometimes she…” You can fill in the end with many things, but the end result is [...]

Read the full article →